As Salaam Alaikum Gentlemen,
As you know today is the very first day of this blog and I wish to jump right into the subject at hand. Manners! What are manners? How do you get manners? Why do we even need manners? Manners are a way of doing something and in our case(MUSLIM MEN) following the ways and mannerisms of the Prophet Muhammad(S.A.W). Before you write this off as being a impossible task keep in mind that the Prophet has been recorded as saying in the next world the people who will sit among him are those like him in manners. With that being said it can be done. Maybe not 100% but you have to try nonetheless. As for how to achieve Good manners, there’s two ways. 1.You are born with them(like through your DNA) in which you would be considered a mutant in this day and age. 2. You learn them and obtain them. How does one achieve such feat? I’m glad you asked!
First realize that no one is perfect. But the good men and the men who are destined for Al Firdaus Insha Allah are those who find out their faults and fix them. I was recently listening to a lecture that broke it down really well on how to do this. First you must have four avenues or paths to finding out your faults and manners. Then there’s five steps to fix this and with a little(or a lot) or Dua, you will become ……….A GENTLEMAN!!!
Avenues to bettering your manners.
Finding your faults and bad manners.
- Study under a sheik. This will help because he can point out your short comings and more importantly give you a type of template of how to act(I’ll explain later) (33)
- Cooperate with a BEST FRIEND. The reason this calls for a BEST FRIEND(MUSLIM OF COURSE)is because as your best friend that person should be able know your bad habits very well and Insha Allah they have the knowledge to know what you are doing wrong. This is a very good way of reminding them of their faults as well and in this case helping both of you become better Muslims Insha Allah.
- Listen to your ENEMIES and envious ones who speak badly about you(yes you can include HATERS, LAMES, AND LOSERS,). The reason for this is simple, even though they speak bad about you and spread rumors and lies and defame you, there is some truth in there. For the short-tempered, take it as constructive criticism.
- Lastly, Look at the COMMUNITY and say you are one of them. When you don’t like something about the community, try to put it on yourself and be of that and then look for ways to change it. Chances are you might not like something that others are doing, but are doing it yourself!
Once all those steps are done its time to write down all your faults and bad manners and PRIORITIZE them!( I know another to do list sorry) This will help you tackle the big things first but not overlooking the smaller things.
Ways to fix aforementioned faults and bad manners.
- FORCE yourself to fix your manners, which will convince your heart. It sounds like hypocrisy but it’s not, since you are sincere about changing your bad manners.(34)
- COPY the people of the opposite character. Every bad manner,deed, and person has an opposite.(33)
- STAY like this for a period of time. The time vary’s depending on the person. If you feel like you are still copying and forcing then keep at it, but if you feel like its natural and ts in your heart and its done like second nature then Masha Allah you have successfully fix a bad manner!
- RINSE AND REPEAT. once completed for one bad manner, go down the list to the next and start over.
(34)Remember the Hadith about your body having a king which is a piece of flesh called the heart. When the heart commands it sends a signal to the organs and limbs to either obey Allah(S.W.T) or disobey!
Once you Have improved Your manners Ahki’s, you will be one step closer to becoming a muslim gentleman, one of the most trusted and beloved men in the community!
Food for thought: The Prophet(S.A.W) is recorded as saying if you improve your manners alone, you will be in the same level as the highest of worshippers in Paradise!(hows that for an initiative!)
Insha Allah i hope this helps you all as well as myself, and if i have said anything wrong May Allah(S.W.T) forgive me of my ignorance and increase my knowledge, Ameen
As Salaam Wa Alaikum Brothers.