Fitnah……………

As salam alaikum gentlemen,

Today i want to talk about a touchy subject…….Fitnah. Fitnah is a problem, wether big or small, that a person deals with daily. Some are avoidable while others are not so much. To have a better understanding of Fitnah, it depends on what it is. Some are caused by our own actions, others may be a test from Allah(S.W.T), and others may be the shaitan(The Devil)’s doing. First understand that no one is without fitnah, it eventually is upon every human being. Secondly how you deal with this fitnah can be pleasing in the eyesight of Allah(S.W.T.). Some problems are hard to deal with and you may need help, whether it be from Allah(S.W.T) or a friend, ect. Others may be easy to deal with yet at the same time, How you ask? Simple. Say want to say something to someone yet you know it is offensive, yet you say it anyway and now you’re in the position of being harmed, you certainly could have avoided that. Hopefully as Men we aren’t currently in that situation but it was an example. Some fitnah is a means to get closer to Allah.Heres, an understanding. Abu Hurairah narrates that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said: “When Allah wants to be good to someone, He tries him with some hardship.”  And to those things that avoidable heres this, The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said “That which is lawful is clear, and that which is unlawful is also quite clear. Between these two is that which is ambiguous, which most people do not know. One who avoids the doubtful safeguards his faith and his honor.”
——— Riyadh-us-Salaheen, Hadith 588.   I’m going to keep this post short and easy, do good and handle your affairs appropriately , for Allah will bless you and help you of your affairs.

As Salam Alaikum Brothers,

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Grooming For A Better Future.

As Salaam Alaikum Brothers,

                How many of us have babies that are scared of our beards and cry when we hold them? I’ve seen it before and as funny as it seems it can be easily avoided. Also many men think it’s manly or tough to be wild-looking and ungroomed, in fact it’s not and it’s a part of the sunnah to be groomed. Abu Hurairah reported, Five things are according to nature: Circumcision, and the removal of superfluous hair,8 and the removal of hair in the armpit, and the paring of nails, and the clipping of the moustache.( B77:63). Also , ‘Ā’ishah said, I used to comb the hair of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be on him.(B. 6:2.). So there’s no doubt that we as men are supposed to be well-groomed, it’s a part of cleanliness and we always have to be clean.  There are so many reasons why we should focus on being well-groomed and each have its own level of importance, such as for your wife’s sake and to get a job. Some brothers aren’t married yet so the first doesn’t apply to them yet the second does, and another man might feel the opposite way. Whatever the case, it is still very important. While we are men and some things we just don’t do in the grooming world(clear coat nail polish is a no-no!), some things are acceptable and will help you in the long run.

Grooming for the Modern Muslim Gentleman.

  • Hair: Hair is important because its something that people see and it can really make or break your image. I know a lot of brothers like to go full bald and wear kufi’s 24/7, but a lot of other brothers don’t. The Prophet (S.A.W) had shoulder length hair i believe and used to rub olive oil through it periodically, proof that one should take care of their hair! Find whatever hairstyle works for you, as long as its Halal and you like it, wear it! Me personally im going with the short and wavy hairstyle because my wife likes it but if you want to wear it to your shoulders so be it.Just keep it brushed smooth or combed. I even know some brothers who put henna in it!
  • Beard: This is touchy amongst men, some say you’re not supposed to cut it others say you can,   Ibn ‘Umar reported, The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allāh be on him, said: “Oppose the polytheists–leave the beard to grow abundant and clip the moustaches.”9 And when Ibn ‘Umar performed the pilgrimage or the ‘umrah, he used to grasp his beard with his hand; what exceeded, he had it cut off.(B. 77:64.). If you do follow this and trim and cut the edges and if you don’t, always remember that its…………..HAIR!!!!!! it has to be moisturized and nourished and fed just like your head hair does, but be careful brother, some products will irritated the skin and we certainly do not want that right?!?
  • Nails: Pretty simple…………CLIP THEM!!! we don’t want to look like old pimps with dragon claws right brothers?!? Clipping and shaping your nails is healthy and sunnah and it will make your hands more shakable! Meaning brothers will be more inclined to shake your hand and not worry about you scratching them or you can hold your family without scratching them either. THIS ALSO GOES THE SAME FOR TOE NAILS!!!!!! Treat your toe nails like your finger nails, clip em, file em down, and don’t paint them, remember we’re MEN!
  • Oral: Brush your teeth, use mouthwash, carry a miswak, and repeat daily, Also keep your lips well moisturized, as for your wife’s sake !
  • Skin: Use lotion men, it won’t hurt and it is healthy to moisturize it.
  • Fragrance: I can’t stress enough over how important this is! it ranges from oil to scented products down to deodorant. Smell good men, the Prophet (S.A.W.) did so why can’t we? Make sure you get a fragrance that smells like you and your wife likes it as well.(Very Important!) Also please brothers do not over do the smell good!!!! if so you might create a horrible situation for you and everyone else around you

If followed correctly, us muslim men can be more clean-cut, approachable muslim men and who doesn’t want that?

 

Insha Allah I hope you brothers learned some things and insha Allah if i said anything wrong may Allah forgive me for it was not my intention. Ameen

As Salaam Alaikum Brothers.

Dress Code 2.0

There’s a time and a place for everything, there’s a time and a place for everything…………..This phrase constantly repeats in my mind right before the Jummah kutbah. Why you ask? Because even though it’s 2011, and we know how muslims and more importantly, the Prophet (S.A.W) dressed, and especially since we know the religion didn’t change, men still feel the need to dress unislamicly for Jummah. Now if your thinking, it’s my body and i can dress how i want, your right, but this is what separates a muslim male from a muslim gentleman. Muslim gentlemen know the importance of being well-kept and looking your best during Jummah, which means wearing islamic clothing to the house of Allah for Jummah services. Why is this such a problem you may wonder, take this food for thought. A gang member doesn’t like chucks yet all the members in his gang wear them as part of their attire, so he wears them, or look at the president, he wears suits to all public places and functions but maybe at home in private he rocks a throwback or white tee(That would be funny!). The point im trying to make is there’s a time and place to dress a certain way. When you go to a job interview, you typically wear a white button up shirt, and khaki’s or chinos or slacks.when your watching the Superbowl you might opt for your teams jersey for something comfy, or when your playing sports your don’t wear a suit, right? How many times have you seen young muslim males sitting in the masjid for the Jummah kutbah wearing a bright coogi shirt and true religion jeans that are horribly baggy and a necklace he got from the gas station? While it may seem like I’m hating, im not, I’m on a quest to be a man, a gentleman, a muslim gentleman, and as that i find it unacceptable to be attending jummah in such attire. You’re in the house of Allah and as such your supposed to be in your best ISLAMIC attire. No kufi under a fitted, no super baggy jeans stuffed in your socks, actual muslim clothing. I’m talking thobes keffiyeh, leather socks, the works, of course we as humans have different  taste on clothing so wear whatever suits you best. For the men who don’t own thobes or dont know how to purchase one, im here to help!

Guidelines for Thobe Buying.

  1. Get your size(no baggy or tight fit, thobes should be fitted yet loose, like a tailored shirt.)
  2. Browse different styles(there’s many styles and some style arent for everyone so find one that fit your body and personal tastes)
  3. Start off with some cheap ones(do this so you get familiar with thobes, how to care for them, how to clean them and things of that nature)
  4. If married, make sure your spouse likes is(very important as to she is going to have to see it a lot and its a plus if she likes it)
  5. Buy multiple(different cuts and colors for different occasions, remember that variety is the spice of life)
  6. Lastly, think of the whole outfit or wardrobe(if you’re wearing jeans you might want a cotton thobe of similar of close color, ill explain in a bit)

With these tips you should be able to successfully purchase a thobe or two but it doesn’t stop there, here are some thoughtful words to ponder also.

Thobe materials and clothing that works well with.

  1. Cotton Thobe: denim, corduroy,slacks, khaki’s, even sweats!
  2. Polyester blend Thobe: slacks,khaki’s,denim(sometimes), and sweats(crazy but true!)
  3. Satin Thobe: satin pants(DUH), khaki’s, no sweats lol
  4. Wool Thobe: denim, corduroy, khaki’s, and yes sweats!

Remember, accessorize and accentuate, clothing should be an adornment as well as protection. I’m not going to get into colors but if you follow these steps, you should be looking like a well-kept muslim gentleman in no time!

Also if you want a custom-made thobe, Me and my wife are working on it so email me some ideas or inquiring a piece or something for your wife, my wife does it well.

As Salam Alaikum Gentlemen.

Being a GOOD FATHER (or parent.)

As Salaam Alaikum Brothers and Men,

As you all are aware of, Eid ul Fitr is approaching and I’m sure many of us have been bombarded with children and their wish lists for this year. Seeing as these said children will more than likely empty our wallets soon, i wanted to talk about raising children in Islam and their rights over us as fathers and parents.

Before we dive into this sea of information(It’s a lot!), lets recognize the pure fact of having children a blessing. Having children is a blessing because Allah(S.W.T) gives us them as an adornment for this world. They make it better so to speak. Also, if you don’t have children or physically can’t have children you’re not out of the loop, it is a decree from Allah so it is also a blessing and we should be equally grateful.   You may be thinking since you’re the parent you control everything dealing with your child, which is true to an extent. Here are some right that you have over your children.

Rights of Parents

  • Children MUST be most kind, helpful, respectful,caring,mindful,and gentle to ones parents.
  • Children MUST be kind in words,treatment,and actions towards ones parents.
  • It is also a right of the parent over the child that the child MUST be pleasant in the parents presence and serve them with pleasure and without any complaint, HIDDEN OR APPARENT.

Allah also said in the Quran” Show gratitude to me and thy parents.” 31:11

So parents do have rights over their children, BUT, children also have rights over their parents. It may seem crazy to some but it makes sense, the future Ummah should have rights to protect them and ensure the stay on the path.Simply put Allah(S.W.T) has made rights for his younger slaves and they aren’t that hard for us as fathers to abide by.

Rights of Children

  • Before the child is even born as men we have the duty of finding a righteous, pious, and caring wife to be the mother.(Seems easy but sadly a lot of brothers don’t even think about this.)
  • Engrave them with true values, the meaning of right and wrong, true and false,appropriate and inappropriate, ect.
  • Provide the proper upbringing of a muslim child, by teaching, nurturing, interaction, as well as by your own examples.
These are just some of the simple things we as fathers and parents are obligated to fulfill. They will insha Allah make for a better child and insha /Allah bring great blessings to you. If you’re wondering when is a good time to start any of this it’s simple=before birth. Many parents especially fathers wait till the child is a toddler or near puberty to begin teaching when in fact, it will be too late. As an infant, your child by the Mercy of Allah can hear, which is one of the most important aspects of teaching, so why not let them hear the beautiful knowledge of Al Islam? what i found out recently from a very knowledgable elder and what im doing now is  playing Quran throughout the house. Why you ask? When your wife hears the beautiful Words of Allah being played throughout the house, those words are passed through her ear canal by sound waves to the baby, who also hears such beautiful words. This will help sooth the baby and get it learning Quran much easier and faster. When the child is born and is a toddler or small child, let them play, let them have fun and enjoy life. Simply play the Quran where they are playing in a high place while they play. The child will hear the words of Allah and since it’s playing, will associate them with being good and something it likes. Also kiss the child and hold the child close right before Maghrib, as the shaitan likes to roam and cause harm during this time.  Also MEN, it is important that we be in our childs life. The Prophet(S.A.W) said” Every one of you is a shepherd. And every one is responsible for what ever falls under his responsibility. A man is like a shepherd of his own family and he is responsible for them.” Bukhari and Muslim. So MEN, it is our responsibility to take care of our children. We must teach them about this deen and cloth them and feed them and make sure there needs are fulfilled. And to those males who aren’t in their childs lives think about this, the Prophet(S.A.W) said”Upon death a man’s deeds will stop accumulating except, charity, knowledge taught that is still being implemented, and pious, righteous, and God-fearing kids who make continuously pray to Allah(S.W.T.) for their parents souls. Also men we have to look at our own character. Why tell our children to wear thobe and kufi when we don’t wear thobe and kufi? Why punish our sons for talking to women at school when the boy sees his father do it? Children are very observant and soak everything they see and hear, so let us Men and Fathers insha Allah have good character and be an example to our children. Also Allah will surely give you kids that treat you how you treated your parents! So while your reading the upper half to your child read it yourself and see if you’re fulfilling your parents right over you?!
                       And to those men who are so busy with work and business, that money won’t be with you in the grave! Children are often lost and disrespectful and unruly by the negligence their parents showed them. Men take your sons to islamic classes at the masjid with you, take them there for salat. Take them out into the town and get to know them, they might surprise you. Most importantly, BE  THERE. ALWAYS BE IN YOUR CHILDS LIFE NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE. REMEMBER, STUDIES SHOW THAT 70% OF PEOPLE WHO’S FATHER WASN’T PRESENT END UP IN PRISON.
                    Once again, Eid is approaching and insha Allah i hope i encouraged you brothers on spending time with your children and letting them enjoy this blessed day. Also insha Allah i hope we all look at this as an inner calling to treat our own parents better, because on the Day of Judgement we will be asked.
Insha Allah may Allah(S.W.T) forgive me of anything i have said that is false or misleading, as that was not my intention, Ameen.
                                                                                             As Salaam Alaikum Men and Brothers.

BABY STEPS………….

As Salaam Alaikum Gentlemen,

As you know today is the very first day of this blog and I wish to jump right into the subject at hand. Manners! What are manners? How do you get manners? Why do we even need manners? Manners are a way of doing something and in our case(MUSLIM MEN) following the ways and mannerisms of the Prophet Muhammad(S.A.W). Before you write this off as being a impossible task keep in mind that the Prophet has been recorded as saying in the next world the people who will sit among him are those like him in manners. With that being said it can be done. Maybe not 100% but you have to try nonetheless. As for how to achieve Good manners, there’s two ways. 1.You are born with them(like  through your DNA) in which you would be considered a mutant in this day and age. 2. You learn them and obtain them. How does one achieve such feat? I’m glad you asked!

First realize that no one is perfect. But the good men and the men who are destined for Al Firdaus Insha Allah are those who find out their faults and fix them. I was recently listening to a lecture that broke it down really well on how to do this. First you must have four avenues or paths to finding out your faults and manners. Then there’s five steps to fix this and with a little(or a lot) or Dua, you will become ……….A GENTLEMAN!!!

Avenues to bettering your manners.

Finding your faults and bad manners.

  1. Study under a sheik. This will help because he can point out your short comings and more importantly give you a type of template of how to act(I’ll explain later) (33)
  2. Cooperate with a BEST FRIEND. The reason this calls for a BEST FRIEND(MUSLIM OF COURSE)is because as your best friend that person should be able know your bad habits very well and Insha Allah they have the knowledge to know what you are doing wrong. This is a very good way of reminding them of their faults as well and in this case helping both of you become better Muslims Insha Allah.
  3. Listen to your ENEMIES and envious ones who speak badly about you(yes you can include HATERS, LAMES, AND LOSERS,). The reason for this is simple, even though they speak bad about you and spread rumors and lies and defame you, there is some truth in there. For the short-tempered, take it as constructive criticism.
  4. Lastly, Look at the COMMUNITY and say you are one of them. When you don’t like something about the community, try to put it on yourself and be of that and then look for ways to change it. Chances are you might not like something that others are doing, but are doing it yourself!

Once all those steps are done its time to write down all your faults and bad manners and PRIORITIZE them!( I know another to do list sorry) This will help you tackle the big things first but not overlooking the smaller things.

Ways to fix aforementioned faults and bad manners.

  1. FORCE yourself to fix your manners, which will convince your heart. It sounds like hypocrisy but it’s not, since you are sincere about changing your bad manners.(34)
  2. COPY the people of the opposite character. Every bad manner,deed, and person has an opposite.(33)
  3. STAY like this for a period of time. The time vary’s depending on the person. If you feel like you are still copying and forcing then keep at it, but if you feel like its natural and ts in your heart and its done like second nature then Masha Allah you have successfully fix a bad manner!
  4. RINSE AND REPEAT. once completed for one bad manner, go down the list to the next and start over.

(34)Remember the Hadith about your body having a king which is a piece of flesh called the heart. When the heart commands it sends a signal to the organs and limbs to either obey Allah(S.W.T) or disobey!

Once you Have improved Your manners Ahki’s, you will be one step closer to becoming a muslim gentleman, one of the most trusted and beloved men in the community!

Food for thought: The Prophet(S.A.W) is recorded as saying if you improve your manners alone, you will be in the same level as the highest of worshippers in Paradise!(hows that for an initiative!)

Insha Allah i hope this helps you all as well as myself, and if i have said anything wrong May Allah(S.W.T) forgive me of my ignorance and increase my knowledge, Ameen

                                                                                      As Salaam Wa Alaikum Brothers.